Monday, January 03, 2005
Partially cleared clouds!
That is how today's 'weather' in my life can be described as!
To all those who had been writing kind words to me - I do appreciate the time you are spending with me.
I adore my husband and stick with him, in spite of the insults, because I truly believe that I caused him THIS pain he is undergoing. He needs time to come out of it and I need to face the consequences - be it favorable or otherwise; at least until he gives me the verdict. I also believe that he is the man who constantly reflects on his own actions and reactions. Hence he undergoes these seesaws of emotions. He gave me a choice either to walk away or face him. I chose to face him - this is perhaps, my last attempt at 'working out' my own life. It is not an easy path, for both of us; only time will answer whether we are going in the right direction by being together or not.
It is painful, humiliating but the reward is 'being-with-him' and fine-tuning my own self. I don't know if I deserve anything different now, but until and unless I go through my own 'penance', I can't expect anything at all from him.
So, I am here taking each day as it is unfolding. I have no clues about my tomorrows. But today, yes, clouds in my life cleared partially and this not only boosted my energy but also my optimism!
To all those who had been writing kind words to me - I do appreciate the time you are spending with me.
I adore my husband and stick with him, in spite of the insults, because I truly believe that I caused him THIS pain he is undergoing. He needs time to come out of it and I need to face the consequences - be it favorable or otherwise; at least until he gives me the verdict. I also believe that he is the man who constantly reflects on his own actions and reactions. Hence he undergoes these seesaws of emotions. He gave me a choice either to walk away or face him. I chose to face him - this is perhaps, my last attempt at 'working out' my own life. It is not an easy path, for both of us; only time will answer whether we are going in the right direction by being together or not.
It is painful, humiliating but the reward is 'being-with-him' and fine-tuning my own self. I don't know if I deserve anything different now, but until and unless I go through my own 'penance', I can't expect anything at all from him.
So, I am here taking each day as it is unfolding. I have no clues about my tomorrows. But today, yes, clouds in my life cleared partially and this not only boosted my energy but also my optimism!
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Nobody can "make" another person feel anything. We all choose to give in to our feelings. You must have a lot of power if you can "make" him feel a certain way.
Hello dear friend,
Just found your site, I must say that I am very happy to see you are still with us and blogging. I am not Indian, but I understand a little about your culture, enough to appreciate that you are faced with some extraordinarily difficult and conflicting emotions. I am very sorry for this, and for all the pain you must be experiencing.
Someone once asked me this question regarding a man I almost married, I feel compelled to ask you the same:
Is there anything about this man that scares you?
If there is, I can't beg you enough to seek help and to put your physical and emotional well-being above his matrimonal rights. I understand that perhaps you are trying to make up for the past by trying your utmost to be especially good to him, but believe me and all these other women when we say that it will never be good enough, your efforts will likely never satisfy his demands.
If you suspect this may be true, please do take steps to protect yourself by finding a safe place to stay, and seek counselling. You do not have to live this way, really.
Praying for you,
Feeble
Just found your site, I must say that I am very happy to see you are still with us and blogging. I am not Indian, but I understand a little about your culture, enough to appreciate that you are faced with some extraordinarily difficult and conflicting emotions. I am very sorry for this, and for all the pain you must be experiencing.
Someone once asked me this question regarding a man I almost married, I feel compelled to ask you the same:
Is there anything about this man that scares you?
If there is, I can't beg you enough to seek help and to put your physical and emotional well-being above his matrimonal rights. I understand that perhaps you are trying to make up for the past by trying your utmost to be especially good to him, but believe me and all these other women when we say that it will never be good enough, your efforts will likely never satisfy his demands.
If you suspect this may be true, please do take steps to protect yourself by finding a safe place to stay, and seek counselling. You do not have to live this way, really.
Praying for you,
Feeble
I've built my relationship with my wife on honesty. It sounds like there are times when you are not honest with your husband. Its not surprising that he is concerned, but if he truly believes that you should not live, he is a slug.
Marriage is a commitment which he is choosing to ignore. Be honest, be loving, and fight for your marriage. Be understanding of him and ask him to be understanding of you. Above all, love him as Christ loves you. You should expect the same from him.
Forgiveness is the cornerstone of a trusting relationship. Past mistakes are in the past, and there is not much you can do about them now.
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Marriage is a commitment which he is choosing to ignore. Be honest, be loving, and fight for your marriage. Be understanding of him and ask him to be understanding of you. Above all, love him as Christ loves you. You should expect the same from him.
Forgiveness is the cornerstone of a trusting relationship. Past mistakes are in the past, and there is not much you can do about them now.
# posted by 
: January 5, 2005 at 8:00 PM
: January 5, 2005 at 8:00 PM << Home
